December 28, 2009

Tidal Wave

"I feel like 2010 is coming at me like a Tidal Wave. I don't know what it holds, but I'm not sure I'm fully prepared. Surf or drown, I guess."

April 6, 2009


Deep inside my heart it grows,
like a weed in a garden
no one knows
Jealous of my friend and foe
rooted in evil and watered each day,
there is no escape.
I feel like prey.
In every circumstance I speak to a mirror;
"Why not me?"
"They don't deserve..."
"But I have been good."
-It couldn't be any clearer.
I get angry over the smallest treat,
resolving my pride is too great a feat.
My dreams are quickly slipping away;
Murder? Theived? I sink in defeat.
Have I not been who I was supposed to be?
Did I not follow You to a tee?
Or is it...
that this was never about me?
I have spent so much time.
I have wasted so much emotion.
It's so clear to me now, I set this weed into motion.
The only way out is the only way in,
I must die to myself,
to live again.

February 14, 2009


It's been a long time since I have truly seen God as my lover. I have felt him as many things in my life, and mostly I have seen him as friend and comfort and strength. Until recently. The last few days He has been my Lover, the fullfiller of my soul, my true other half, a gracious and tender prince. A constant and Holy reminder that it is He who loves me, provides for me, cares for me deeply. He woos me in the night, draws my thoughts in the day, My Lord fills me. He is a gentleman, not pushing himself into my life; instead standing near, quietly, gently offering His salvation and life.

"The one thing I ask of the Lord—
the thing I seek most—
is to live in the house of the Lord all the days of my life,
delighting in the Lord’s perfections
and meditating in his Temple." Psalm 27:4


January 2, 2009

Fresh Footprints

Today was New Years Day. I am having trouble, this year, getting into the whole "New Year's thing". I think the holidays have just happened too fast for me. I planned so hard for Christmas, that I missed everything after Christmas.
We didn't have anything elaborate planned for today, Pamela and I spent part of the day at the beach (while Adam played Disc Golf). I love the beach, it's constantly getting in my head and teaching me lessons. Today, as the first day of 2009, the beach was beautiful. A cool breeze, Mission Boardwalk was busy with people going nowhere. Just walking, biking, skating and boarding up and down the large sidewalk. I thought about how refreshing it is to start a new year. Many people do the whole Resolution thing, and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. The point is, we get to start over. I thought about that as I watched the waves today. Everyday, the tide goes out and everyday, it comes back in. If you go to the beach in the evening, you can see sancastles made throughout the day, drawings people have made in the sand, and footprints of dogs, children, birds, and other creatures. But if you go in the morning, all of those things are gone. If you came to see sandcastles, your out of luck, but if you came to be the first footprints of a new day...this is your opportunity. So, I guess what I'm saying, is there are surely some who will be sad to see 2008 go and others who can't wait to race forward into 2009, but it turns out we have been blessed with both. Thank God for giving us 2008 and thank God for trusting us with 2009.